DJ JamosaurusTex Terrorizes Dance Floor

At 7:00 p.m. Sunday, a dance studio on South Congress became a scene of chaos as 12 local badass babes were terrorized by a prehistoric monster with larger-than-life beats, the vicious DJ JamosaurusTex, depicted here in an artist sketch:

Powerless to resist the tyranny of the horrific beast’s jumpin’ Spotify playlist, the women of DDPP donned flashy workout clothes and got their groove on instead. An hour of merciless pop, dance, and hip-hop tunes ensued, after which said women collapsed to the floor in anguish.

Area woman and DDPP enthusiast Valerie Ward gave the following statement: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!”

Fellow dancer Kaci Beeler agreed with Ward, saying, “I thought the Jamosaurus Texicanus was extinct. But these beats were definitely alive.

Here is a snapshot from the scene:

Any further information that about this incident should be reported to Amy Gentry, aka DJ EZ-Bake, immediately.

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