DJ JamosaurusTex Terrorizes Dance Floor

At 7:00 p.m. Sunday, a dance studio on South Congress became a scene of chaos as 12 local badass babes were terrorized by a prehistoric monster with larger-than-life beats, the vicious DJ JamosaurusTex, depicted here in an artist sketch:

Powerless to resist the tyranny of the horrific beast’s jumpin’ Spotify playlist, the women of DDPP donned flashy workout clothes and got their groove on instead. An hour of merciless pop, dance, and hip-hop tunes ensued, after which said women collapsed to the floor in anguish.

Area woman and DDPP enthusiast Valerie Ward gave the following statement: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!”

Fellow dancer Kaci Beeler agreed with Ward, saying, “I thought the Jamosaurus Texicanus was extinct. But these beats were definitely alive.

Here is a snapshot from the scene:

Any further information that about this incident should be reported to Amy Gentry, aka DJ EZ-Bake, immediately.

DJ PIXIE Cuts-It-Up gives you a new look for spring!

The bluebonnets are blooming, the mercury is inching upward, and suddenly you have this nagging desire to DO something with your hair. Something refreshing . . . something light . . . something that will keep your neck cool and show off those cute little ears. You keep looking in the mirror, holding your hair back, and wondering: Do I have the confidence to pull it off?

WONDER NO MORE! Last night DJ PIXIE Cuts-It-Up debuted a mix so floaty, flirty, bouncy and spry it made Audrey Hepburn jealous. This pixie-riffic cutie simultaneously rocked our asses AND her badass ‘do, giving us a taste of what it feels like to be light as a feather in the hair department! Check out the mix:

And now – A PIXIE CUT POLL!!!

These six celebrities are dying to be crowned Dance Dance Party Party’s Pixie Queen! Listen to their ferocious debate over who has most darling ‘do!

Emma Watson: "Not only am I smarter than Natalie Portman, I'm also British! Just like the REAL pixies."

Michelle Williams: "Um, the Pixies are an American band, dear. And I happen to be best friends with them, so . . ."

Ginnifer Goodwin: "Hey guys, this cut makes my neck look RAD!!"

Halle Berry: "Oh AREN'T you kiddies cute. Now move over, it's grown-up time."

Carey Mulligan: “Can’t we all just get along, and also agree that I’m adorable?”

OH BISH PLEASE

Dear readers, every vote counts!