E = (DanceParty)2

What could possibly be better than Jazzercise?


I’ll give you four guesses, and two of them are the same words as the other two.

Dance Dance Party Party
Sunday, May 30
NiaSpace, 3212 S. Congress (lefthand studio)

Be there!

A Dance-uation.

This Sunday DJ EZ-Bake experienced some technical difficulties of a minor order.
please stand by
Nothing as bad as this though:
Isn’t this Natalie Dee lady great? I find her all over the web whenever I’m looking for stupid things to post on this blog. Here’s one I like:
She should really add “English Ph.D.” to that list.
But most Natalie Dee cartoons are a distant cousin of the old Cathy comic strip. Here’s Cathy, super stressed out because of Diet Soda or something:
Here’s Natalie Dee, also stressed. But in a more relatable, twenty-first-century fashion!
We’ve all felt like that, haven’t we ladies?

Anyway, getting back to Sunday’s DDPP. Trouble with the sound system and with my iPod meant I worked up a sweat even without the dancing. I made some definite Natalie Dee faces, guys. However, in between all the jiggling of wires and twiddling of knobs, there was a WHOLE LOT OF DANCING GOING ON. And you know what Natalie Dee has to say about that:
Here’s what we danced our bearpants off to:

Join us next week, when DJ Blueberry takes the iPod!

DJ-ing is Ridiculous Fun, Y’all

Guess what I do on the weekends?
That’s right, I’m a waitress. And today kind of sucked at work, and I was not sure that I was going to be able to put on my brand new sparkly pink DJ EZ-Bake disco shorts and juke for an hour and a half tonight. Even though I brought the mix.
HOWEVER, when I heard the strains of my own familiar music wafting out of the speakers and saw a roomful of awesome ladies grooving to the beats, I could not help myself. Waitress Amy went bye-bye; DJ EZ-Bake emerged triumphant and began to tear holes in the dance floor with her sneaker-clad feet. Here’s the playlist, which, I modestly assert, had us all shakin’ it:

The sweat flew, the disco shorts flashed in the swirling light, and when I had a moment to think, I thought: DJ-ING DANCE DANCE PARTY PARTY IS RIDICULOUS FUN, Y’ALL. To sign up, all you have to do is send us an email at dancedancepartypartyaustin [at] gmail [dot] com, or show up in person and put your name on the list. We need your awesome mix! You need to hear your music booming over the speakers in a room filled with dancing queens! This will be a mutually beneficial arrangement!

This Sunday: Take your passion and make it happen!!

First, there is nothing but a slow, glowing dream that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind.
All alone, you have cried silent tears full of pride in a world made of steel, made of stone.
But then you feel the music, close your eyes, feel the rhythm wrap around, take a hold of your hearRRRRT!. . . .
What a feeling!!!
Bein’s believing!!!
You can have it all, now you’re dancin’ for your life!!!
Take your passion and make it happen!! Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life! What a feeling!!

The above has been a brief pictorial representation of the sensation of attending Dance Dance Party Party which, fortunately for you, is happening this Sunday. Same bat time, same bat channel:

Sunday, May 16
NiaSpace, 3212 S. Congress, smaller studio (on the left)

Look for our patented blinding pink sign by the door. And do not miss it! Seriously, dance right through your life. It’s the only sane thing to do.


I am here today to address a very serious issue that has come up at recent DDPP meetings: What To Fucking Wear.

Ladies see our flyers, they hear about us from their friends. And they ask the inevitable question: Is it a dance party? Or an exercise class? The answer, of course, is YES. But that doesn’t answer the question of WTFW to Dance Dance Party Party.

Now, WTFW is a recurring issue in a lady’s life. There are countless magazine editorials devoted to this very topic, as well as to the related topic, What NOT To Fucking Wear. Let’s say you have broad shoulders and narrow ankles, and you work in a chicken processing plant but you often go out dancing after work. I guarantee you that Lucky, Elle, and even Jezebel have an opinion about WTFW.

If you’re like me, you get a little! bit! tired! of being told WTFW. Wear a boxy top to minimize the size of your calves! Don’t overdress on the first date! Bend over and make sure your bra doesn’t show before you go to that wedding! You know what I say to all that? YOU bend over. Don’t tell me WTFW! I’ll wear hot pants and baggy jeans and sweater vests and cowboy boots wherever and whenever I please! At thirty-two, I am old enough to take the consequences.

This is all to say that at DDPP, which has an explicit “No Judgment” policy, You Can Wear Fucking Anything! In the past, people have worn: yoga pants, halter tops, t-shirts, tutus, bicycle shorts, minidresses, sports bras, tennis shoes, no shoes. The main thing you should know is that you are gonna get really hot and sweaty, so to keep from overheating you might avoid turtlenecks; and that you will be dancing on a wood floor, so for the sake of your ankles high heels might be inadvisable. But if you still need some guidance, here are some ideas:

Moms Are Hot.

Everybody knows that on Mother’s Day you’re supposed to take a moment to appreciate how difficult your birth was for the party involved who actually remembers it. You’re supposed to contemplate all the hell you put your mother through – morning sickness, dirty diapers, boy band obsessions, veganism, birth control talks, cult involvement. Tough times, and your mom weathered them, all for you.


What no one seems to acknowledge on Mother’s Day is that mothers are HOT. They had sex, y’all! Probably a lot more times than the one time it took to produce you. They wore cute little miniskirts in the sixties and glittery disco dresses in the seventies and awesome power suits in the eighties. These days they are rocking capri pants and adorable flats. If mothers weren’t hot, “hey pretty mama” wouldn’t be the kind of thing men yelled out of car windows. And it is. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the hotness of moms:
On Sunday, DJ M.I.L.F. reminded us all of the hotness of moms with her booty-rockin’, show-stoppin’, foot-stompin’ Hot Momma Mix. Without further ado, here is a list of songs celebrating not just the awe-inspiring patience and omnipotence of moms, but their total hotness. Mom, if you’re reading this – you are beautiful! I love your hair and your classic sense of style! Whenever I get a compliment, I tell the truth – “I got it from my mama.”

Hey Mama / Kanye West
Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ / Michael Jackson
Suga Mama / Beyoncé
Mamita / La Banda Del Diablo
I’m a Mother / Pretenders
Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya / Old School Players
Big Wheel / Tori Amos
Fly Mamita / Cherisme’
Stacy’s Mom / Fountains of Wayne
I Got It from My Mama/ will.i.am
Mother and Child Reunion / Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Tell Mama / Etta James
Hay Mamita / Cartel de Santa
Sugar Mama / Bonnie Raitt
Papa Don’t Preach / Madonna
Mothership / Kid Beyond
Mamma Mia / ABBA
Present / Infant / Ani DiFranco