Bust a Move. Break a Sweat. Be Yourself.

(Yeah, I made that pun. Deal with it.)

Now a lot of you guys know Karen as an improvising fool and baker of sweet nothings at her business, Scissortail Savories and Sweets. But tonight, as DJ ScissorFACE, she showed a fiercer side.

She sliced! She diced! Her razor-sharp moves cut a path across the dance floor. Fearing for our lives, we danced like a bunch of paper dolls in a stiff breeze.

(And yes, I know this is Edward ScissorHANDS, not ScissorFACE. But trust me, you don’t want to see the images that came up when I did a Google image search on “scissor face.”)

Screenshot of the mix below. If you like what you see, go subscribe to the mix, which is aptly titled Dance!

 

Can 13 ladies fight patriarchy with the power of dance? DJ MixMistress made it seem possible with her “All Girls” mix, a solid hour of lady swagger, lady rants, and lady anthems that had THIS lady tearing up a little at times. What? Haven’t you ever gotten a little weepy during “Fergalicious”?

Just kidding, during “Fergalicious” I’m too busy workin’ on my fitness. But when Beyonce sings “Who run the world? GIRLS” I do sometimes feel a sniffle coming on, even as I’m shakin’ it to the beat.

I don’t mean to be a downer, but reading the headlines lately, it seems like we barely run our own bodies, much less the world. The reason there are so many girl power anthems out there is because we still need to hear them, not because we actually run the world. And in fact, we’re not asking for the world. What we want – well, Aretha demanded it in 1967, and we’re still asking for it now.

To me, that’s why DDPP is so great. Sure, it’s a silly, fun, stress-relieving interlude, a chance to exercise, a social hour and a lark. But there’s also something kind of magical about putting on songs like “Run the World (Girls),” “Can’t Hold Us Down,” and “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” in a room full of all girls. There’s something special about feeling, for a moment under the disco lights, like we really do run the world – and for me, that feeling of buoyancy and power and togetherness makes me want to fight even harder for R-E-S-P-E-C-T for all girls, ladies, and women. To quote the coloring book “Girls Are Not Chicks” by Jacinta Bunnell and Julie Novak:

Women’s Studies 101 over! Here is DJ MixMistress’s BADASS mix, which was so bumpin’ I woke up six kinds of sore this morning:

Dance Dance Party Party Austin is two years old, yay! And we have only one birthday wish!

Aw, thanks Edward Cullen! But that’s not it.

On Sunday, May 13, DDPP is having an in-studio KARAOKE birthday party!! When you show up at the regular time (7pm), the studio will be equipped with a karaoke set-up, cordless mic, and limitless enthusiasm for hearing YOU sing dance tunes!! Check out this koooool graphic if you still don’t know what I’m talking about because you weren’t reading very carefully!

Think of it: YOU, belting out your favorite karaoke song into the mirror, disco lights swirling, surrounded by awesome, dancing women who are DUTY-BOUND not to judge you! You can dance around the room, and we can be your back-up dancers! If you were there last time we did this, you know that this is basically my reason for living.

But there is one thing we need from you, dear DDPPers – we need your requests! We will be assembling a DDPPKK playlist of the bestest dance-y karaoke hits imaginable. If you want to be sure and get your favorite song, SIGN UP NOW on the Facebook Page and let us know what song you want to sing! You can also message me in private if you want it to be a big ol’ surprise, or send me an email (amyegentry at gmail).

Regardless of how many requests we get, there WILL be a full hour of dance karaoke involved, and you can always sign up when you get there. So clear your calendar, you karaoke-dance-loving ladies!

One more thing: I was going to call this Dance Dance Party Party Karaoke Karaoke Birthday Birthday, but I know my limits.

When you were a little kid, summer ruled. Summer was the best. Summer meant walking barefoot to the pool across the street, or letting a popsicle melt all over your hands and then running around in a sprinkler to wash it off. In a bathing suit. With a dog!

Then you got a little older, and it was about coming home from college and sitting up all night comparing notes with your high school friends. Or taking your first road trip with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or, even if your summer job sucked, knowing that hey, in September, it was see-ya.

But as we know, despite the proximity of Barton Springs, summer for grown-ups is not all snow cones and swimming holes. It most often seems to involve freezing all day in a too-air-conditioned office, scorching your forearm on the gear shifter when you get in the car, walking across endless Costco parking lots, and battling the occasional bedbug infestation.

That’s why our appreciation for summer is mostly about nostalgia. And that’s why I adored our own DJ MILF’s summertime mix last night at DDPP, sprinkled as it was with hits both icy cool and scorching hot that I remember floating over the radio waves from summers past – alongside instant-nostalgia hits like Katy Perry’s “Fireworks.” All in all, not a bad way to kick off the summer.

At 7:00 p.m. Sunday, a dance studio on South Congress became a scene of chaos as 12 local badass babes were terrorized by a prehistoric monster with larger-than-life beats, the vicious DJ JamosaurusTex, depicted here in an artist sketch:

Powerless to resist the tyranny of the horrific beast’s jumpin’ Spotify playlist, the women of DDPP donned flashy workout clothes and got their groove on instead. An hour of merciless pop, dance, and hip-hop tunes ensued, after which said women collapsed to the floor in anguish.

Area woman and DDPP enthusiast Valerie Ward gave the following statement: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!”

Fellow dancer Kaci Beeler agreed with Ward, saying, “I thought the Jamosaurus Texicanus was extinct. But these beats were definitely alive.

Here is a snapshot from the scene:

Any further information that about this incident should be reported to Amy Gentry, aka DJ EZ-Bake, immediately.

The bluebonnets are blooming, the mercury is inching upward, and suddenly you have this nagging desire to DO something with your hair. Something refreshing . . . something light . . . something that will keep your neck cool and show off those cute little ears. You keep looking in the mirror, holding your hair back, and wondering: Do I have the confidence to pull it off?

WONDER NO MORE! Last night DJ PIXIE Cuts-It-Up debuted a mix so floaty, flirty, bouncy and spry it made Audrey Hepburn jealous. This pixie-riffic cutie simultaneously rocked our asses AND her badass ‘do, giving us a taste of what it feels like to be light as a feather in the hair department! Check out the mix:

And now – A PIXIE CUT POLL!!!

These six celebrities are dying to be crowned Dance Dance Party Party’s Pixie Queen! Listen to their ferocious debate over who has most darling ‘do!

Emma Watson: "Not only am I smarter than Natalie Portman, I'm also British! Just like the REAL pixies."

Michelle Williams: "Um, the Pixies are an American band, dear. And I happen to be best friends with them, so . . ."

Ginnifer Goodwin: "Hey guys, this cut makes my neck look RAD!!"

Halle Berry: "Oh AREN'T you kiddies cute. Now move over, it's grown-up time."

Carey Mulligan: “Can’t we all just get along, and also agree that I’m adorable?”

OH BISH PLEASE

Dear readers, every vote counts!

DDPP in da newz!

Hey guys, check out this meticulously researched article on Dance Dance Party Party in CultureMap Austin!! (Don’t judge me for the misspelling of “judgment” in the headline, I didn’t write it. Not that you would judge me anyway! Because that’s the whole point!)

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